Language shapes the way we think and certain specific phrases belie a victim-based mindset. When we become aware of our language (internal and external), we get a window into our subconscious mind and can begin to take ownership of the creative force in our life.
Big 5
Have to/Need to
I have to go to the store today.
I need to make money with my business to live.
This phrase comes from an “employee mindset” where we are taking action based on other people’s ideas. When using language like this, we are giving the power of our choice away.
We always have a choice. We are here doing these things because we want to be.
I get to go to the store today because I have the freedom to choose the food I eat.
I am blessed to be able to make money with my business because I have the freedom to work on what I love doing.
Can’t
I can’t start a business. I’ve always failed at it in the past.
Everything is a skill that can be learned through practice.
I’ve failed at business in the past and have learned through that experience to do better this time.
This Makes Me
This movie makes me feel sad.
We cannot control the outer world and what happens to us. The only thing we have control over is how we react to what is happening.
When we take ownership of our mental and emotional state, we can find empowering and enlightening truths in whatever is happening around us.
I’m feeling sad watching this movie.
Should
I should be further along in my business right now.
This comes from a place of judgement and comparison to others. It implies there is something wrong and is heavily focused on outcome.
I am taking my business to the next level.
Try
I’m trying to take my business to the next level.
This implies we don’t actually believe what we are saying. It gives us a backdoor if we fail.
I didn’t say I was going to do the thing. I was going to “try.”
Getting rid of the “try” allows us to treat failures as learning experiences - as bumps on the road to us achieving our goals.
Sneaky 5
Hope
I hope my business can become successful.
Hope in a general sense is not a bad thing. But using it in this context shows a lack of trust similar to “try.”
We can have hope in our dreams while still taking directive action towards them.
I am excited about creating a successful business.
Talking about what we are excited about implies that we are taking action toward our hopes.
But
I am starting a business but I’m not sure how to do it.
”But” as a mid-sentence transition invalidates everything before it.
Instead, use “and.” It forces our brain to build upon the idea instead.
I am starting a business and I’m excited to learn how to do it.
Just
I’m just a software engineer. Why would anyone listen to me on YouTube?
”Just” communicates insecurity and reduces the weight of what we are saying.
Creating a business is just a matter of…
Similar to “should,” it comes from a place of judgement implying that we should be further along or taking more action because we just have to do this.
Just cut out “just.”
Unbelievable
It’s unbelievable that this great thing happened.
Our beliefs are a choice. This comes from a place of unworthiness believing we don’t deserve good things in our life.
Believe we deserve the good.
Too Good to be True
Similar to “unbelievable,” this is about letting ourselves accept the goodness in our life.
Take ownership of the amazingness in our lives and accept it as a reflection of ourselves.